Texas Liberal

All People Matter

Wife Out Of Town For Five Days—I’ll Do Whatever I Want

My wife is going out of town for five days and I’m going to do whatever I want.

My wife has suggested one thing I might want to do is clean the toilet. You see that we have this hand-painted sea life toilet.

 

But what I had in mind was more along the lines of bringing home a few Singapore Airlines flight attendants–

 

For a toga party.

Or, maybe I’ll contact my priestess and we can finish that ritual we’ve been working on.

With the wife away, I can eat whatever I want.

Of course, my wife and friends know me well. They know I’ll most likely spend a lot of time reading while she’s gone.

Reading—And keeping a tally of the days she’s gone to see what time I have to get away with stuff. And how much longer I’ll have to lumber around without the wife. 

Tally marks.svg

Lastly, I hope she won’t mind that I traded our Accord to this guy selling his Dodge Dart in front of the Petco. He and I have been talking about the trade for a few weeks now and I think it’s the right way to go. I can’t wait to show her our “new” car.

August 23, 2008 Posted by | My Wife Is The Best Person Ever | , , , , | 4 Comments

I Kept Waiting For Debate On CNN—Got Larry King & Valerie Bertinelli Instead

I was pretty sure there was a debate between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama this evening.

I got home from work around 7:30 and put on CNN.

No debate was on.

The wife was late because she had a work-related event to attend.

(Yeah–Another office toga party for the wife.) 

I was all by myself.

I made a bowl of cream of mushroom soup for dinner.

(Here is link to American Mushroom Institute)

I sat at the computer pissing away more of my life working on this blog.

The computer and the TV are in separate rooms.

I figured the debate would come on at 8.

Instead, Larry King came on with an interview of Valerie Bertinelli.

I thought to myself—“Is the debate on some other channel? Do I have to get up and flip channels?”

I did get up–But only to get a Hostess Cupcake I had bought on a 59 cent special offer. I think I had to buy a 140 ounce slushy to get such a good deal on the cupcakes.

I was still convinced a debate was on tonight.

I thought about how many debates have already been held and how I did not really need to see another one.

I picked up a book and ate my cupcake.

The debate was on MSNBC as it turned out.

As much as you may care about politics, can you really watch all this crap day-after-day? I can’t.

It’s a campaign/entertainment industry. 

Did you know the spray from waves can make a rainbow?

   

February 27, 2008 Posted by | Campaign 2008, Politics | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment