Extinct Is Newest Texas Liberal Contributor—Confronting (Or Not) Mammoth Problems

Please meet Extinct. Extinct is the newest contributor to my blogging efforts.

In the picture above, you see Extinct reading about a time when his kind ruled the Earth.

The book Extinct is reading is Prehistoric  Life—The Definitive Visual History of Life on Earth by DK Publishing.

It would be difficult to understate the lack of concern Extinct has at the moment for the future of the human condition.

Says Extinct–“It is one thing to be wiped out in a world not of your own making, it is another thing to have the tools and knowledge to do the right thing and yet to choose another course.”

It could just be that Extinct is upset about an article he read in the New York Times this morning about the unexpectedly fast melting of the Greenland ice cap.

Says Extinct— ” If Woolly Mammoths had had a “House of Mammoths” were we could have addressed issues of concern, I’m certain that we could have put our differences aside to explore just what it was that was making us all die. Why can’t human beings see that the threat of global warming is not an issue inherent to one political party of the other?”

I could not have expressed these concerns any better than Extinct has here in his first post at Texas Liberal.

Here are some basic facts about Wolly Mammoths.

Invade Canada To Prevent Warming-Induced Immigration Of Our God-Given Wheat To North Of Border

A new report says that because of climate change, North America’s “Breadbasket” of wheat growing areas could move from the United States to Canada by 2050.

At current, the breadbasket extends from Texas up to the Canadian border. 

This potential shift is good reason to invade Canada to protect our “food security.” 

Some scientists suggest another option. They believe climate resistant crops and other modifications can solve the problem of different and often shorter growing seasons caused by climate change.

We know better.

As Americans, we know we must invade Canada and get “our wheat” back. In fact, we may need a preemptive invasion of Canada to stop the threat before it starts.

That’s not all. Melting ice around Greenland may be opening up that area to energy exploration. Do you think we’ll let those walrus-huggers take “our oil?” 

How about a new Monroe Doctrine updated for global warming? We’ll claim rights to all newly-thawed resources in our hemisphere. 

Whatever the effects of climate change, you can be sure we’ll update our “principles” to reflect that most cherished American ideal of getting what we want when we want it.