Texas Liberal

All People Matter

Wife Out Of Town For Five Days—I’ll Do Whatever I Want

My wife is going out of town for five days and I’m going to do whatever I want.

My wife has suggested one thing I might want to do is clean the toilet. You see that we have this hand-painted sea life toilet.


But what I had in mind was more along the lines of bringing home a few Singapore Airlines flight attendants–


For a toga party.

Or, maybe I’ll contact my priestess and we can finish that ritual we’ve been working on.

With the wife away, I can eat whatever I want.

Of course, my wife and friends know me well. They know I’ll most likely spend a lot of time reading while she’s gone.

Reading—And keeping a tally of the days she’s gone to see what time I have to get away with stuff. And how much longer I’ll have to lumber around without the wife. 

Tally marks.svg

Lastly, I hope she won’t mind that I traded our Accord to this guy selling his Dodge Dart in front of the Petco. He and I have been talking about the trade for a few weeks now and I think it’s the right way to go. I can’t wait to show her our “new” car.

August 23, 2008 - Posted by | My Wife Is The Best Person Ever | , , , ,


  1. A fresh coat of paint on that baby and some white wall tires – your wife will love you forever!

    Comment by Mark Greenberg | August 25, 2008

  2. Yes—I feel she will see it the same way. I’ll tell her I had your support.

    Comment by Neil Aquino | August 25, 2008

  3. How dare you make fun of Dodge Darts! My green bodied, black topped, two-door ’68 DD was a treasure. Even Uncle Lester, who always drove Caddies, thought it a smart looking vehicle. The second one – the tannish one – was also a faithful steed until a drunken teen driving on Cincinnati’s Delta Ave. demolished it a night or two before a vacation trip to San Diego. I’ll never forget a voice from the living room yelling out, “Mom, someone just killed your car.”

    Comment by Newton | August 26, 2008

  4. Maybe you could get another Dart today. It would be “vintage automobile” at this point.

    Comment by Neil Aquino | August 27, 2008

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