Texas Liberal

All People Matter

Please Don’t Assume The Man Is Picking Up The Check At A Restaurant

My wife and I sometimes go out to eat. In most cases, in Houston or elsewhere when on vacation, the waiter will hand the check to me. He or she will do so despite having no idea who will be paying the bill.

It is not unusual for my wife to hand the server the check herself with the cash or credit card enclosed, and for the waiter to still give me back the change or the credit slip to be signed.

So look—If you’re a waiter— and I’m an advocate of good tips for waiters— please don’t make an assumption about who will be paying the bill. Just please put the check in the middle of the table and take it from that point.  

April 23, 2007 - Posted by | Uncategorized


  1. But please DO take the woman’s order first. ‘Cause we all know if mama ain’t made up her mind yet, ain’t nobody gonna eat yet.

    I do always seem to get the check handed to me rather than my wife. I always wondered how they knew I was the one that would end up paying.

    Comment by Whosplayin | April 23, 2007

  2. lol. It really confuses waiters when there are only women at the table. They seem to seek out the one that looks older. It’s interesting that waiters are still in the stone ages and think that woman don’t understand tipping.

    Comment by nytexan | April 23, 2007

  3. LOL, as long as I can still hold the door open for my wife…

    Comment by Laz | April 24, 2007

  4. Ms. Manners says no gender based gesture is okay at work but that it is okay outside of a workplace. At work you have to hold the door open for everybody or for nobody. On your own time you’re fine.

    Comment by neilaquino | April 24, 2007

  5. It always amazes me when my fiancee pays and the waiter still hands the receipt and credit card back to me. One even called me by my fiance’s name (from the credit card), even though it was obviously not my name (both because it was a woman’s name and it’s ethnically-derived and I’m painfully white). I was a waiter for years and my policy was always check in the center of the table.

    Comment by Povertylawyer1 | April 24, 2007

  6. I hold the door for everybody and that is how I have always been. Its silly not to have basic manners. I was a waiter for years and I would drop the check between the people at the table. Really I could have gave a shit who paid for it as long as they left a good tip after I gave them good service. When you work for tips its important not to expect them but to work for them. the word comes from. To insure prompt service. There are so many clueless assholes out there that done tip right. Imagine any one who is reading this that in your job you have to watch people get drunk and stuff their faces. It can be a pretty hard job. Your attitude is what gets you through. I hate people so I am no longer a waiter.

    Comment by bill b | April 26, 2007

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