Texas Liberal

All People Matter

If Polar Bears Could Vote

(12/22/09—This is a reposting from July of 2008.  Thank you for reading Texas Liberal.)

(Blogger’s Note—This is the second of my series “If Animals Could Vote.” Please click here for a discussion of Crayfish voting.)

What if Polar Bears were allowed to vote? What would they ask for? How would they organize? Would they care for others or would they be selfish?

If Polar Bears were allowed to vote, the first thing they might do is insist on quick action regarding climate change. Many scientists fear that the ongoing melting of the polar ice caps will erode the Polar Bear’s habitat.

Polar Bears would also demand an end to Polar Bear hunting. Some whack jobs hunt Polar Bears for fun. Others for food and skins. With only 25,000 polar bears left in the wild, it would seem that all Polar Bear hunting should be banned.

The Polar Bears below have captured a submarine. This should even the odds with hunters.

Enfranchised Polar Bears living within the United States might well demand inclusion in the Marine Mammal Protection Act (MMPA). The National Audubon Society’s Guide To Marine Mammals Of The World defines Polar Bears as marine mammals. However, the MMPA does not currently list Polar Bears.

The Polar Bear’s Latin name is Ursus Maritimus. This means “sea bear.”

The MMPA extends a variety of protections to included species. (Though not full protection from hunting by native groups.) It is possible that if listed in the act, Polar Bears would then be granted “Majority-Bear” electoral districts to ensure Polar Bear representation.

Below you see a Polar Bear flag. This flag is from a majority-bear district in Russia where Polar Bear rights are strongly advanced.

Polar Bears have also been known to practice so-called identity politics. Below is the flag of gay Polar Bears.

BEAR PRIDE FLAG

It is good that Polar Bear diversity is acknowledged, but a more cohesive “pan-Arctic” view by Polar Bears might lead to faster and more complete rights gains for all Polar Bears. The recent move to a Polar Bear postal system as illustrated by the stamp below, can be seen as an attempt to join Polar Bears more firmly into one large community.

Polar Bears have a lot to think about as they move towards the vote. One thing is certain though–No Polar Bear has ever been so misguided as to vote for Ronald Reagan or George W. Bush. Here’s hoping  Polar Bears will get it right and vote not just their own best interests, but vote in the best interests of others as well.

Here is some basic information about Polar Bears.

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December 22, 2009 - Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , ,

2 Comments »

  1. Very, very funny, Mr. A

    Comment by NCK | December 23, 2009

  2. wow , Man.

    Comment by Mr. Browner | December 24, 2009


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