Texas Liberal

All People Matter

People Have A Right To Define Family As They Wish

I recently flew from Houston to Chicago to visit family. Some of the family I spent time with I like. Others I could take or leave.

We should be free to define family as we wish. For example, I find little to be more mean and intrusive than telling people who they may or may not marry. Life is short and it is rotten to deny people the relationships that they want and hope for.

Also, we may feel we have friends we value more than people who by conventional definition are seen as family. Or we may feel that a requirement for a close family relationship is that the family member in question be someone we would want as a friend. 

None of this has anything do to with treating family and all people with basic civility and respect. These are universal obligations.

Values we associate with family such as love and loyalty can become selfishness when not open to others. Family should be defined as broadly as possible. Individuals have the right to decide who they wish to include in their own idea of family. 

(Before you leave a comment, let me be clear that I do not think you should have 12 wives or that government should legalize marrying a cow or whatever other silly examples that these discussions often produce)  

About these ads

February 22, 2007 - Posted by | Best Posts Jan.-June 2007, Politics, Relationships, Uncategorized

23 Comments »

  1. I pick my family. I have added a bunch of online aunts and one who lives near me. I don’t want a village raising me cause I don’t live in a village, but I do want a really cool family of nice people who don’t use drugs to raise me. So that’s what I picked! But I live with my real blood brother and I don’t have anything to do with my mom or my ex-dad anymore. My brother gives me real family values and they don’t need having a mom or a dad in our house.

    Comment by frecklescassie | February 22, 2007

  2. absolutely correct. i believe a family is defined by love.

    and why is that when people talk about legalising gay marriage, the argument descends to the slippery slope? i know of no gay marriage advocate who wants to legalise multiple-partner marriages or marriages between people and animals or inanimate objects. =)

    Comment by anna | February 22, 2007

  3. Ah my friend this is the problem though…

    If “We should be free to define family as we wish” then who are we to tell a polygamist who wishes (for whatever reasons) to define family as the 4 women he calls his wives?

    It’s not a silly example because by forbidding these people from practicing polygamy (their definition of family) aren’t we defining family for them?

    Did you happen to catch ABC’s report on the polygamist community of Centennial Park? It was quite interesting…

    I’m not advocating polygamy by any stretch but what is our society’s aversion to it?

    Comment by Laz | February 22, 2007

  4. There were lots of polygamists in the bible. What is the big aversion to that?

    Comment by frecklescassie | February 23, 2007

  5. Let’s see cass, there was David, Solomon for starters… They had a bunch of wives, but to my knowledge never is it commaded to go out and have more than one wife.

    I must ask (again) what is society’s aversion to polygamy? Personally I know why it’s wrong but why does the law still forbid it?

    Comment by Laz | February 23, 2007

  6. While I don’t consider myself a “social liberal”, I do believe there are better things for our politicians to occupy themselves with than trying to regulate what we do in our personal lives. I was taught as a child that if what I did hurt another, it was probably wrong. And if it did not hurt another, it either was okay, or should be.

    As for who my family is, there are some blood relatives that I am truly happy to have and there are some I could not care less for. And I had shipmates while serving on a couple of submarines that I really cherished. In fact, it has been nearly 50 years and I remain in contact with several of them today. To me, they are family.

    Comment by Myron | February 23, 2007

  7. I was on a WW II sub in San Francisco a couple of years back. How did people avoid going crazy cooped up in those little things?

    Comment by neilaquino | February 24, 2007

  8. That is the USS PAMPINITO. It’s been there for around 25 years now. I know a couple of subvets that volunteer as docents on her. Did you know we have one in Galveston? The USS CAVALLA. She is out on Pelican Island at Seawolf Park. I was on her sister ship.

    They gave us a psychological battery to determine if we were suited for submarine duty. Those that were sane stayed in the surface Navy, those of us who were a bit loopy got to go to the boats.

    Comment by Myron | February 24, 2007

  9. Hey Stranger = Love your use of links on this one, and what you had to say! Were you this bright in the 7th grade? D

    Comment by Diane | February 27, 2007

  10. Family (is not bound by blood relations nor does it require blood relation, nor does it require marriage until we seek remedies of Law to define and govern a natural nurtured institution where there is not a fit all definition applicable

    Offspring can only be produced from a male and a female.

    (BTW what is your definition of Marriage?)

    We must consult history as most Law is rooted in Natural Law Polygamy (Multiple Partner) Union and the Same Gender Partner Union; we must observe working models or examples of natural law (survival).

    In the animal kingdom, are there any examples of the above unions .Deer, Cattle, Canine, Horses, Lions, Tigers etc….. etc…….

    Species Survival is primary under natural law.

    That means the Union must produce the most efficient means to procreate, beget, engender, generate, get, mother, parent, produce, sire; hatch, spawn ………

    With Same Gender this is only possible through science; but the offspring will only be of one half belonging to a same gender union.

    Marriage is reserved for a male and a female per each individual offspring.

    You cant have one without the other.

    Comment by Kenedeno | March 4, 2007

  11. absolutely correct. i believe a family is defined by love.

    and why is that when people talk about legalising gay marriage, the argument descends to the slippery slope? i know of no gay marriage advocate who wants to legalise multiple-partner marriages or marriages between people and animals or inanimate objects. =)

    Comment by jazzz | November 11, 2007

  12. Family (is not bound by blood relations nor does it require blood relation, nor does it require marriage until we seek remedies of Law to define and govern a natural nurtured institution where there is not a fit all definition applicable
    Species Survival is primary under natural law.

    i believe a family is defined by love.

    Comment by fiza | November 11, 2007

  13. Why? Why?? Why???

    It is rather simple. Even if you don’t want to hear it.

    1. Marriage is a “God given institution”.
    2. Homosexuality is a “God proclaimed sin”.
    3. God’s word is Absolute.(Not able to be redefined as we wish, although each “new version” of the bible is being watered down, but that is a different problem)

    So, redefining marriage “Legally” may eventually happen if enough people sit down and let it, but it won’t change God’s word on the subject ever.

    That is the simple truth.

    I am sorry your gay, but you could repent and put your faith in the Lord. God does have a plan for every life.

    Comment by Bob | December 10, 2007

  14. Bob go fuck yourself and your god you tool.

    Comment by bill brady | December 11, 2007

  15. Bob—I’m not gay and you are not a very moral fellow. Don’t you figure life is mean enough without hassling people for the way they were born? Or, as you might put it, for the way God made them.

    Comment by Neil Aquino | December 11, 2007

  16. Neil,
    Is Bob not “moral” because of his comment or do you know something the rest of us don’t?

    Bill,
    Why the vitriol? Do you also know something more about Bob that the rest of us don’t?

    Comment by Laz | December 11, 2007

  17. Laz—Bob is a hater. You might say that Bob is right that gay marriage is wrong. But you’d not assume I was gay and you’d not write an e-mail like the one Bob wrote–Even if you agreed with some of what was said.

    You’d put it a different way and the difference in style would be a difference in substance because at core you accept others even if you don’t agree. You would not say you were sorry someone was gay.

    I can understand both you and Bill. I have some of both you in my make-up. Bob though is something of a meany.

    Comment by Neil Aquino | December 11, 2007

  18. Morals are man made bullshit like your god, excuses, power of men over women, perverse ideals to conrol. bob is a douchebag for making comments like that. he has the right to believe and comment anyway he likes as you do and I. Gay is not perverse, power and religion are. tools used by tools to make weakminded tools obey. its absurd like his post and your defense of him. I could care less about you and your god and think that people should be left to do what they want. earlier post that talk on the slippery slope are true. the god folk be it christian or muslim have a hate for anyone not like themselves. the differnce between me and you is I respect your right to worship you god and idiotic as i think it is i respect your right. The extreme religious people of the world think only they are right and everyone else is wrong and thats also absurd.

    Comment by bill brady | December 11, 2007

  19. Neil,
    Thanks for the clarification, not that you owed it to me and it is because of that that I appreciate it. As for Bill, it seems that his issues go beyond just being a “meany”.

    Bill,
    What I think ironic is that this accusation in particular,

    The extreme religious people of the world think only they are right and everyone else is wrong and thats also absurd.

    reflects the same self-righteousness you accuse “the extreme religious people” of. Any statement that starts off, “The difference between me and you…” reeks of the most perverse self-righteousness.

    If so-called “extreme religious people” are that big of a problem Bill what are you doing about this pox other than spewing vitriol via the Internet?

    Comment by Laz | December 11, 2007

  20. Laz i am not self-righteous at all i just stated that i think you and all the other jesus freaks should be able to worship however you like. I dont hate you but you hate me. when i go to sleep at night i could give a shit about who you or anyone else preys to or what there personal beleifs are as long as they are not intrusive of other peoples lives. i dont think there is a solution to the jesus freaks as much as maybe if you all chilled out a bit and let other people live their lives without shoving jesus down their throats you all might have more time to be loving and giving and helping all the people that need help. i am sure you live a humble simple life and you are peaceful in your heart but when you go to bed with a smirk on your face thinking that bill guy is going to hell are you laughing or are you crying because you want to save me? just curious.the only pox on the internet that i can see is christ!

    Comment by bill brady | December 11, 2007

  21. Well…okay time out folks. This is my favorite post on the blog and we seem a bit sidetracked. Both of you are decent people.

    Comment by Neil Aquino | December 11, 2007

  22. Bill,
    Guess what? I also think that you should be able to worship as you like. I never said anything to the contrary, I nor any other human being is the Judge.

    Bill, you doth presume too much,

    i dont think there is a solution to the jesus freaks as much as maybe if you all chilled out a bit and let other people live their lives without shoving jesus down their throats you all might have more time to be loving and giving and helping all the people that need help.

    I have no choice to but “let other people live their lives”. You on the other hand seem bent on not letting other live theirs, as evidenced by your setting of conditions when it comes to the convictions of those who differ from you.

    What do you think the Gospel is Bill if not God reaching to fallen humanity? I don’t expect you to believe that, I merely wish to inform. It is not my responsibility to convert you or anyone else, that belongs to God, for He is the only One capable of doing that.

    i am sure you live a humble simple life and you are peaceful in your heart but when you go to bed with a smirk on your face thinking that bill guy is going to hell are you laughing or are you crying because you want to save me?

    Frankly I fail to see how anyone who has real peace in their heart can retain such a measure of self-righteousness as you seem to be ascribing to me here.

    If I ever feel the temptation to commit such a heinous sin all I need to do is remind myself of my previous state and thank God that He has brought me out and pray for the salvation of those who remain lost.

    Bill, if you care to at least clear up some of your misconceptions, I posted about Christian self-righteousness over at my blog,
    “Everlast Lyric and those Judgmental Christians”.

    As well as the fact that it is self-righteousness that stands between humanity and God,
    “Self-Righteousness: A Pillar of Unbelief”.

    Neil, hope you don’t mind the links.

    Comment by Laz | December 11, 2007

  23. its a good conversation laz i am not hellbent on not letting others live their lives, what i do not agree with is the intrusive message that you are right and i am wrong when know one knows anything for sure except death will come. you and i can both be kind, live good lives, help out when we can where we can, care deeply and still both be right in some way. this started when bob said he was sorry to neil that neil was gay like he was a rapist or a murderer like gay is something dirty, well its not, neither neil or i are gay but we do not have hatred for gay people, i told bob what i thought and then you decided to direct a comment to me, its simple we all dont agree on everything and thats ok too. i do not hate christians or muslims or atheist(or anyone) i just think that when your decision is driven by hate, especially in the name of any god is a joke.

    Comment by bill brady | December 11, 2007


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 139 other followers

%d bloggers like this: